Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize