Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
