that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
