Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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