Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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