peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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