I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize