Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
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Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
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It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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