You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
