you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
it's like iHOP with fire
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
