Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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