Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
