Three words: puerto rican gang bang
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
we should paint friendship bongs
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