turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
