idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
