Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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