i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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