Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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