Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
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She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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