Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
