do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
