I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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