3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
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There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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