No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
