You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
