remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?