Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES