He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving