i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She's like a pop up book from hell.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I know her cup size but not her name....
PANTIES FOUND
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