Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize