did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
