This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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