Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
this is an emotional support booty call
Floor bacon is actually really good
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
