It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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