yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
