can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
