i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
