This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize