Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
