Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
