Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
