The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
