how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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