gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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