I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
