I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
