the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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