My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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