...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
