I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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