Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
