lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We are two peas in an std pod
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
