Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
