make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
