Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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