Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
