Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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