This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
