WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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