you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
